There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
