I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
