i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Randomize
