Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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