Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
