What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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