i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
