Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
