why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize