It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
