it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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