she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
