I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
