Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
