And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
