I love black thongs
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
