Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
