If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
