Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
