So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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