Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
