She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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