okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize