how can u be prego again
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
