i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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