Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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