He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
