i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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