Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize