Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
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