Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
