Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize