it was like his penis was on wheels.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
