I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
