U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
