last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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