don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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