youre lurking in front of me
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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