im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize