I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
