Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
