I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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