take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
