You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
