I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
