Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
