Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
