what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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