I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
