oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
