He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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