haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
