That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
