Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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