guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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