he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
