I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
