So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
