Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
