it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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