i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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